Did you know that July 12th is New Conversation Day? On this day, people are encouraged to talk about new topics and start conversations without any fears or worries. Starting conversations can be difficult, but it is essential as it can shine a light on important topics and allows discussion and understanding among people. In addition, it can help normalize topics such as masturbation and sexuality. We would like to take this opportunity to start a conversation within the topic of self-pleasure, specifically, a conversation about not wanting to masturbate.
While society has become more open to masturbation and sexuality, there are still many topics of conversation that are not often spoken about. In this blog, we would like to start a conversation regarding the idea of not wanting to masturbate or not being interested in self-pleasure. As masturbation becomes more accepted, it could lead to misunderstandings and external pressure for some people. To avoid this from happening, let’s explore this topic thoroughly. Hopefully, normalizes the idea that masturbation is natural, freeing, and something that the individual decides for themselves.
To Self Pleasure or Not to Self Pleasure, That Is The Question
In the past few years, we can see that society has been much more open to the idea of self-pleasure. More and more people have come to advocate for masturbation, and according to our Global Self Pleasure Report, many people consider masturbation as part of their self-care routine during quarantine. We should definitely celebrate this, as more people are expressing themselves and their sexuality.
While iroha is happy for those indulging in the art of self pleasure, we firmly believe that self-pleasure is something that individuals should do if they want to, and those that don’t want to, don’t have to, and should not feel pressured to do so. People can freely choose whether they want to masturbate or not, and it is important to understand there are people who might not want to masturbate.
This is where the conversation about not wanting to masturbate comes in, keep on reading to find out some of the possible reasons for those that don’t want to masturbate.
Masturbating Makes You Feel Guilty
Many of us are actually curious about self pleasure, however, due to the way we were brought up, society’s pressure, or worries about what our partners would think can often make us feel guilty or ashamed about masturbating or wanting to know more about it.
For girls, women, LGBTQIA+ young people, they are taught that the very thought of them touching their body for pleasure is shameful, disgusting and wrong,
Growing up, many are under the impression that self-pleasure is shameful, as Sex Coach Georgia Grace mentioned. We were taught to keep our sexuality to ourselves and that masturbating and sex are things we should not want. Under those circumstances, it is easy to feel ashamed or guilty when you become interested in masturbation.
On top of that, the way society portrays the idea of women being open with their sexuality is considered to be inappropriate and those who blatantly admit to enjoying self pleasure can be viewed as indecent, or even slut-shamed. However, that should not be the case, anyone can masturbate, and in fact, most people have. According to our 2021 Global Self Pleasure Report, 86% of U.S Adults (age: 18-54) have admitted to having masturbated in their lifetime. Self-pleasure is natural and normal.
Another reason one might feel guilty regarding self-pleasure could be that we are worried what our partners would think of us. Similar to society’s pressure, our partner’s perception can either hinder or encourage our sexual exploration. There have been many cases where the women in the relationship are often shamed for wanting to masturbate. In fact, many women in relationships felt shamed or controlled by their partners when it comes to self pleasure. In reality, self-pleasure is an act of self love, self care, stress relief, and most importantly self exploration. One should feel free and decide for themselves whether they want to masturbate or not, not because their partner said so.
Luckily, we are moving towards a more open and free society, but for some of us “masturbation = shame” is still deeply ingrained in our minds, which makes it hard to want to participate in self-pleasure. It will take time to heal and resolve these uncertainties, and maybe one day self-pleasure won’t seem so scary. Until then, it is ok to not want to masturbate.
There Are Past Traumas
Trauma can affect us in many ways, this includes taking away the ability to feel pleasure and the sense of ownership of our own bodies. For those that have experienced sexual assault or other kinds of traumas before, self pleasure can be a complex topic. For many that have experienced sexual trauma the idea of masturbating or anything related to sex can become triggering and off putting. So for those who have such experiences, it is perfectly normal to not want to masturbate.
However, for many sexual assault cases, masturbation is actually a method of treatment. It teaches the person to feel and experience pleasure again, it shows the individual that they have ownership and control over their body, and it helps them face their fears and overcome them. As mentioned, self-pleasure can be difficult in the beginning, but it is important to know that there are professionals that can help you. It is recommended to consult professionals first when it comes to any treatment.
You Have Low Sex Drive
Everyone’s body is different, there are some people with a naturally higher sex drive, and vice versa, there are people who just have a lower sex drive and self pleasure is just something they don’t think about it.
In addition, there might be other factors that cause low sex drive leading to little interest in self-pleasure, such as mental and emotional health, stress, anxiety, depression, recent pregnancy, and so on. It is natural that in these situations one might not want to masturbate.
You’re Just Not Into Self Pleasure
Just like anything else, if you are not interested in something, you are not interested in it. Self-pleasure is the same, there can be some people who just don’t care for masturbation. They are happy and feel good just the way they are, and that is great! There shouldn’t be any pressure on them because the point of self pleasure is to feel good about yourself, and if you already are, then there’s no need to force yourself to do something that might cause you to be uncomfortable.
The Most Important Thing: Feel Good About Yourself
To answer the question ‘is it normal to not want to masturbate’, the answer is yes. There are so many possible reasons that a person might not want to masturbate. At the end of the day, whether one masturbates or not, should be decided by them. The purpose of self pleasure is to take care of oneself, it is self love, self care, and absolutely something that they feel good about, not something they feel forced to do.
Talking about self pleasure, including understanding why some of us love it and want to share it with the world while others don’t, is vital. This action helps normalize masturbation and reduce stigmas against those who do or don’t participate in self pleasure.
Hopefully, this blog has opened you up to some new perspectives regarding self-pleasure. If you are curious to know more about us, iroha was created to help more women in Japan be able to freely feel good about their bodies and break the taboo of self pleasure for women. It is important to know that we support the individual having the choice to decide whether they want to masturbate or not. Read more about us in our Breaking the Taboo and Celebrating Women blog!