10 Orgasm Myths You Should Stop Believing

With the internet being so vast and containing so much information about anything and everything, it is easy to get confused by myths and misconceptions. Especially if the topic is orgasms, where very little is discussed. Orgasms are a complex topic, while many of us are fascinated by it, it is not much talked about in the mainstream media. It is easy to see why people end up believing in some of these orgasm myths. So in this blog, we are going to take a look at some orgasm myths and see whether they are true or not.

Here are 10 orgasm myths that we are going to debunk together!


Penetration Alone Is Enough To Orgasm

There is a common misconception that vaginal penetration alone is enough to orgasm for women. While this might be true for some people, 81.6% of women don’t orgasm without additional clitoris stimulation. According to Amanda Luterman, a psychologist that specializes in sex, there is a correlation between the distance from the vaginal entrance to the clitoris, and the chance of vaginal orgasm, the closer they are, the higher the chance. There is nothing wrong or unusual with not being able to orgasm through penetration alone.

There are many ways to orgasm and penetration is one of them. You can achieve orgasm through stimulation of the nipples or other erogenous zones too. So don’t limit yourself to one, try them all and see what works for you.

Penetration Alone Is Enough To Orgasm is a common misconception, while some people can, over 80% of vagina owners need more than just penetration.


If You Orgasm, The Sex Was Good

It is important to remember that sex, just like masturbation, is about feeling good. Just because you had an orgasm, doesn’t necessarily mean the sex was good. The sex can be good because it was a result of a variety of factors, such as the connection with your partner, good communication, foreplay, and so on. You don’t need to orgasm for the sex to be defined as ‘good’, as long as you felt good doing it, that’s what matters.

On top of that, it is better to not think about orgasming during sex, it might actually make it harder to have an orgasm. Enjoy the moment, and feel good.

If You Orgasm, The Sex Was Good is a myth! Sex is more than just orgasming, it is about feeling good and enjoying the experience with your partner.


Women Can’t Get Blue Balls

The idea of blue balls is when a person with a penis is sexually aroused for a long period of time without any physical release of the sexual tension (ejaculation). It is also often used to describe the idea that they were unable to orgasm or were unsatisfied, leaving them pent up and in pain. In reality, any genitals that are aroused would swell up and if the sexual tension is unreleased for a long period of time, it could cause discomfort. Anyone can get this discomfort, regardless of their gender. Thus, women can also get blue balls, which is sometimes referred to as blue vulva or blue walls/uterus.

So, Women Can’t Get Blue Balls is a myth. While for vagina owners it is not called blue balls, the idea of pent up sexual tension is applicable to vagina owners too.


Faking Orgasms Is Worth It

Let’s be honest, faking an orgasm is not worth it, for the most part. If the goal of sex is to enjoy yourself and experience pleasure, then faking an orgasm is similar to lying, which is not a good thing in any relationship. Yes, it can be hard to be honest with your partner, but your pleasure is just as important as your partner’s. Being honest and having proper communication with your partner can lead to the chance of both of you to have better sex and more orgasms. Long term effects of faking orgasm include a deteriorating relationship, sexual frustration, and preventing you to find ways to truly reach orgasm.

On a side note, 59% of women have claimed to have faked an orgasm before versus 25% of men. Luckily, 67% of women who had faked an orgasm decided to no longer do so.

Faking Orgasms Is Worth It is a myth! It is not worth it in the long term for both you and your partner.


Orgasms Are Explosive Like Fireworks

Orgasm myths: orgasm is like fireworks - explosive

We all like to believe that an orgasm is an explosive and earth-shattering feeling when achieved. But in reality, that might not be the case for everyone or every time.

According to the American Psychological Association, "an orgasm is when a person reaches peak pleasure. The body releases tension, and the perineal muscles, anal sphincter, and reproductive organs rhythmically contract." Based on this definition, how much a person feels during the release of tension and contractions varies from person to person. For some people, it could be very big, while for others it is much calmer. It is entirely possible that some people won’t even realize they had an orgasm. So, no need to worry about not achieving an ‘explosive’ orgasm.

Orgasms Are Explosive Like Fireworks is a myth for the most part. Orgasms are very unique and their effects are varied, some can be explosive, while others are just a gentle, satisfying release of tension.


Orgasms are Purely a Physical Phenomena

Orgasms are often considered an effect that is caused by physical action, for example, sex and masturbation. However, the mental status of the person is just as important as their physical condition to have an orgasm. If your mind is elsewhere when you are trying to orgasm, it can be very hard to do so. In fact, it could cause distractions and lead to an overall mediocre performance. Feeling good is more than just a physical response, it is also about mentally being there and experiencing it. If you are distracted or stressed, it can actually make it harder to orgasm.

Interestingly, there is a type of orgasm known as the ‘imagery-induced orgasm’, where the individual is able to orgasm through mental images alone. So your mental condition is very important to orgasm.

Orgasms are Purely a Physical Phenomena is a myth! While it can be a physical phenomenon, other factors such as mental conditions and the mindset of the person can play a huge role in the success rate of orgasming.


Couples Should Have Orgasms At The Same Time

While many of us might want to share the pleasure with our partner and orgasm at the same time, in reality, the idea of orgasming at the same time can actually cause pressure or even stress during sex. As the process and the timing of orgasms vary from person to person, it could be very hard to control. Instead of stressing out about matching orgasms, it is important that both partners are feeling good.

Couples Should Have Orgasms At The Same Time is a myth. While it is possible, it should not be something that has to happen in sex. In fact, according to a certified sex therapist, Jessa Zimmerman, it is more important to focus on pleasuring each other and take turns doing so.


Vagina Owners Should Be Able to Achieve Multiple Orgasms

The idea of multiple orgasms can be misleading itself. Multiple orgasms is when a person can have several orgasms in a short period of time. Usually, after an orgasm, the individual will have a refractory period or a recovery period, before they can orgasm again. Those who are able to achieve multiple orgasms most likely have a relatively short refractory period. It just so happens that vagina owners tend to have a shorter recovery period in comparison to penis owners. It is said that for those that have vagina, the refractory period could be a few seconds versus penis owners’ a few minutes or up to an hour or even a day. Please keep in mind, the refractory period varies from person to person and age also plays a big role in the length. However, that doesn’t mean all vagina owners can achieve multiple orgasms.

Vagina Owners Should Be Able to Achieve Multiple Orgasms is a myth. Fun fact, both penis and vagina owners are capable of multiple orgasms.


Condoms Reduce the Chance of Orgasm

It is true that condoms might interfere with stimulation for the penis owner. However, it should not affect the chance of orgasm. In a study back in 2015, it was also found that over ⅓ of the participants reported that condom use had no effects on their performance. It was also revealed that many of the participants did not know the proper way to wear a condom, which can cause more resistance to wearing one during intercourse. Nowadays, the technology in creating condoms has come a long way, and it is said that the chance of condoms decreasing sensitivity and preventing orgasm is lower than ever before.

Condoms can play an important role in preventing STIs and unwanted pregnancy. It is important to remember that if you don’t feel comfortable having sex without a condom, you can always say no.

Condoms Reduce the Chance of Orgasm is a myth. With modern technology and proper usage of condoms, both partners should be able to enjoy themselves.


Sex Toys Can Make it Harder To Orgasm

iroha MIKAZUKI placed on a model's leg

The myth that using sex toys can desensitize your genitals and thus make it hard for you to orgasm is another common one. Don’t worry, using a sex toy won’t desensitize your genitals. Instead, you might get accustomed to quicker orgasms, and think that orgasms from other sexual activities are comparatively slower. Often times with sex toys, one can achieve orgasms much faster and easier, since there is a much stronger and direct stimulation to your genitals. When compared to masturbating by hand or having sex with your partner, the feeling is entirely different. The stimulation and time it takes to orgasm can thus cause the person to compare the orgasms achieved with a sex toy to orgasms achieved by hands or your partner. Leading to the myth that sex toys can lead to desensitization of the genitals.

So no need to toss your favorite self-pleasure items. Sex Toys Can Make it Harder To Orgasm is a myth. If you’re still worried, sex therapist Rachel Hoffman suggested taking a break from the self-pleasure item and using your hands instead.

We hope you have learned a lot more about orgasms and possibly debunked some of the concerns you had about them. Remember to feel good and enjoy the moment, as that is the most important part of pleasure.